How to explain this thing called shyness

One of my early in life memories is me peering out at non-family members from behind the skirts of my mother and sisters and hearing them explain, "she's shy".  Perhaps it helped people understand my countenance, but it didn't help me at all.  What would've helped?  I have no idea.

I have "a friend" (yup, quotation marks. she's a friend who's not always a friend.) who believes that shyness is an attitude--that shy people just aren't trying.  How I'd love for her to experience the world from my perspective!  Yet, as much as I'd like to help others understand this thing called shyness, I'm unsure where to even begin.

When I worked my first job in a restaurant as a teen, I remember my mother being amazed and surprised at how out going I was with customers.  After musing this over, I told her that when I was working it was like I was performing a part in a play.  I could engage customers in small talk and have fun with my job with my uniform on, but once I was off the clock--same old me.

Today I don't need a uniform to make small talk and have fun with people, as long as it ends there.   If more is required of me, I don't last long.  It must be due to the mental effort it requires me to interact.  Now that I'm on a low dose of anti-anxiety meds things are better, but only fractionally.

Okay, trying to think how to sum up shyness:  It's like being betrayed by my own brain.  As if it's releasing the chemicals into my system that were supposed to be for emergencies only.  And anxiety on top of that?  {shiver} You can't believe the number of scenarios and paranoid delusions about how people "really" feel about me can play out in my head in mere seconds.  And this is why it's so exhausting:  Plowing through all that, because I really do like people and I love to share and laugh.

Cranberry Orange Cookies

I found this cookie recipe here 2 years ago and keep returning to it--must have to do with the flavor combination.  But now that I've been browsing other cookie recipes the blog owner has put up since then, I may soon have a few more favorites.  
Page after page of tempting goodies--beware!



Cranberry Orange Cookies

2 cups all purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
3/4 cup butter, room temperature
1 cup white sugar
1 large egg
zest of one large orange (about 1 tbsp)
3/4 cup dried cranberries


Preheat oven to 350F and line a couple of baking sheets with parchment paper.
In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.
In a large bowl, cream together the butter and the sugar, beating with an electric mixer until light. Beat in egg and orange zest. With the mixer on low speed, gradually add in the flour mixture, stirring only until just combined. Stir in the cranberries.
Drop dough by rounded tablespoonfuls (about 1 1/4-inch balls) onto prepared cookie sheets and bake for 9-12 minutes, until edges are very lightly browned. Cool for 3-4 minutes on baking sheet then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
Makes about 4 dozen.

Maybe it's crazy, but here's my idea

While N and I were enjoying our burgers and tots at WBC last night, Rob Drinkenstein's blog post began to work on my brain. Would it be possible to have a group of local restaurants get together and plan a progressive Sunday dinner as a Marion Polk Food Share fundraiser. (Or would that be too much with Chef's Night Out?)

Then my thoughts turned to "how many courses?", "how many tickets?", "should transportation be provided?".
We had a good time musing over which restaurant should do each course--including cocktail hour, of course.

The Trail Band -- Christmas 2009

Ann Landers--Tips for Life

Remember Ann Landers?  She was one of my favorite things to read in the local newspaper in younger days.  I still have this list of hers taped inside my medicine cabinet.  It's a good list--worth keeping and sharing:

Tips for Life
1. Give people more than they expect, and do so cheerfully.
2. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you'd like.
3. Don't say, "I love you," unless you really mean it.
4. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
5. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
6. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt, but it's the only way to live life completely.
7. In disagreements, fight fair. No name-calling.
8. Don't judge people by their relatives.
9. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
10. Call your mom.
11. Say "Bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
12. Don't let a little squabble damage a good friendship.
13. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
14. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
15. Marry someone you love to talk to. As you get older, good conversation will be one of the principal elements of an enduring relationship.
16. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
17. Read more books, and watch less TV.
18. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
19. Never interrupt when you are being flattered.
20. Mind your own business.
21. Trust in God, but lock your car.