Wednesday, December 23, 2020

Gray, Grayer, Grayest

 Little doubt that I've written about this before--how the pandemic has made daily/weekly mood cycles more noticeable or not as easy to ignore. At least that's how it's been for me. 

Last night, as some old irritation, wound or shame, rose up out of the old gray matter, instead of attempting to redirect my thoughts, I took my own hand and led myself over to the old irritation to peer closely to see what truths I could tease out. "See, K. There's nothing here. Never was."

It's an interesting exercise, but sometimes I forget or I'm not able to take that mental walk. I reckon it has much to do with what shade of gray has gathered in my head--the lighter the better. 

During the lighter days, it's easier to find and dig into those old dust motes. And, often, there is no shame or bad response or blame for me to accept. Often, it's all in my head. How's yours?

Love, K

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